Everything you could ever want to know about How We Do What We Do, The Meaning of Life, Waffles, and Where You Fit Into It All is right here in our handy 'lil F.A.Q.s. Please read them. Knowledge is Power.
Quick Reference Guide
The person who makes your fangs. Stavros is an artist, author, filmmaker, graphic designer, musician, and craftsmen who loves the vampire/horror genre. Check out his other endeavers: CRAZY DUCK PRESS - for Amazing Vampire & Zombie Novels, Art, & Merchandise! VAMPYRE TEA COMPANY - for the best, organic tea blends on planet Earth! Read Bio.
Kaos Kustom Fangs utilizes a full dental process, where we take an impression of your teeth, make a mold, and build your custom fangs or teeth onto the mold. Each fang/teeth set is original and as unique as you are. We craft each set per "your instructions and specifications". It is a complete custom process. Nothing is pre-fabbed! IT IS A COMPLETE CUSTOM PROCESS, to ensure that you get the fangs you want!
To make the Custom Process work, and work well, we've established a very specialized and organized process. Regualr updates, instructions, and communication is sent to the email you used when placing your order. So, continue reading to learn more.
All aspects of the sale and shipping are processed and transacted in US Currency.
All Sales are Final.
GLUE, PUDDY, OR OTHER BONDING AGENTS.
Will I require glue or a bonding agent so that my fangs stay on? NO! Absolutely Not. Kaos Kustom Fangs are form-fitted to your teeth. So they fit tightly and are held in place by suction. Because they are form-fitted they will fit you and only you.
---The Impression: Impressions are made from high-grade dental Algenate. It tastes nothing like chicken, or even spearmint, as it says on the container. It tastes like industrial plastic. Yum!
---Molds: Molds are made from premimum Dental Stone. We currently use Die Keen Green and/or Die Keen Peach.
---Fangs/Teeth: Our fangs are made from high-grade dental acrylic. The exact same thing that dentures are made of. They will last you a lifetime as long as you take care of them.
Oh my! Such a delicate impropriority, that I do feel a cause to blush...(read that line with a slow southern accent) Seriously though, we get asked about this A LOT! Like: What is the difference between long fangs and short fangs? Really...
So the best way to look at is COMFORT. Because, in truth, size is subjective, and relative to the size of one's own teeth in relation to where their bottom gum line falls. And this is different for everyone.
One person's medium could be another person's long. And another person's short could be a medium for someone else. So, think of it in terms of your "Comfort". Do you want a fang that is big in your mouth or something subtle and small, etc. When you bare your fangs, do you want them prominently displayed in the other person's face or petite to where they'd have to do a double take because they aren't sure of what they saw? If you're a biter, then think about the effect a longer fang will have on your host, versus the impact of a shorter fang, etc.
Add these kinds of details, in the detail box, when you place your order.
We use a base white (#59) for crafting fangs/teeth. With regular use and your normal, daily activities, such as drinking and smoking and whatnot, your fangs/teeth will color/stain to your existing dental shade. It takes about two weeks to properly colorize your fangs/teeth. *You can special request Ultra White for extremely bright, white teeth.
Fangs/teeth can be colored with normal FX makeup and/or stained with coffee or tea.
Besides brushing your fangs, daily, as mentioned in the Kaos Kustom Kare, there are denture soaking/cleaning products you can purchase and use: Polydent, Stain Away Plus, Steradent, Smile Again Denture Cleaner & NightGuard Cleaner; a Water & Vinegar solution. A Google search will bring up many other homopathic options.
*Be Careful To Avoid The Perchaluk Effect by soaking your right fang with the red dot in Hydrogen Peroxide, as it will dissolve the ink and stain your fangs red.
CROOKED, MISSING, AND/OR MISALIGNED TEETH.
Can you still be fanged if your teeth are crooked? YES! If teeth are missing? YES! If you have one snaggle tooth or two, or even if you have an Over Bite or Under Bite, you can be Fanged! Why? How? You may ask...because our fangs go over your original teeth, or fill the holes, and I can make regular, normal, blunt human teeth to form a Bridge and/or Denture to connect to your fangs so your teeth are never even seen. True Story.
BRIDGES AND/OR DENTURES.
Can your fangs be made into a Bridge or Denture Plate with Natural-Looking Teeth? YES!
Do we make Denture Plates and Bridges with just Natural-Looking Teeth, No Fangs? YES!
Whether you have gaps, crooked teeth, no teeth, missing teeth, or simply want a different smile, we can make it for you! Natural-Looking Teeth are $45 per tooth without Gum Acrylic and $50 with Gum Acrylic. Fang prices depend on the Fang Style you choose.
Email us and let us know what you want - fangs, no fangs, # of Natural-Looking Teeth - and we'll make you a PayPal Invoice that you could choose to pay singularly or through installments.
PIGMENTATION & AUGMENTATION.
For those desiring Onyx styled fangs, Silver fangs, Gold-plating, or an added extra flare with a Gem Stone, we provide dynamic and unique craftsmenship. Onyx and/or Silver augmentation is derived from premium dental pigments applied directly to the dental acrylic mixture while in its liquid form. Additional silver-coating, for a nice metallic sheen, is done with metallic paint. Gold Plating is applied to the outer area of the fang. Gem Stones are applied with SuperGlue. Those with allergies to these materials should not order them!
THE MAIL ORDER PROCESS.
Yes, we can fang you where you are. Any Place. Any Time. You can get your Fang On. Kaos Kustom Fangs covers the world. Our unique mail order process makes it easy for you by segmenting the impression-making process. With your order, we mail you out our patent-pending Impression Kit, complete with an email of easy to follow directions with a link to a video by Lopti, walking you through it. So, if you have made Kool-Aid or mixed up a glass of chocolate milk, then you already posses the bassic skills to do this! And if you encounter any problems, we are always available to assist.
Once we receive your impression(s), we immediately make your mold(s), and provide an update, which starts the production clock. By this time we have been in contact, either by email or phone, and we have completely established the specifics of your custom fangs/teeth, so cutting them progresses fairly easily. Once your fangs/teeth are cut, we may send you some pictures via text messaging, so please make sure you provide your phone number when you order or reply to emails. When you confirm the cut of your fangs/teeth, we ship them to you with your mold, a free Fang Tightening Kit, and some awesome Kaos propaganda. You may or may not need the Fang Tightening Kit to make sure you get the closest and most snug fit, but you will absolutely need our propaganda. It has saved lives! So, share it with friends.
Keep your Mold in a safe dry place - for re-orders, expansions, or repairs.
To Repeat, the process is:
1. You place an order. We mail you our Impression Kit. You pay for this shipping at Checkout.
2. You take your impressions and mail them back to us. You provide for this shipping.
3. We cut your fangs and mail them back to you. You pay for this shipping as well, separately from Checkout. Notes about it are in the Impression Kit instructions.
Clients pay for all shipping. This process is still cheaper than going to a dentist and having them make your mold.
SHIPPING, TURN-AROUND, TIMING, & SALES.
---Live Events: The overall dental process takes nearly 2 hours. But as we are usually very busy at live events, turn-around times do vary. So, it is best to book your session sooner rather than later! Though, we always arrange our crafting/cut list to accommodate the times in which you will be at the event.
---Mail Order: WE SHIP EVERYWHERE! If you live on planet Earth then there is a good chance that we can get you fanged! If you live in space, then you really need to look at your life choices and priorities and decide if custom fangs are right for you.
1. Normally, there is a 24-hour turn-around to get the Impression Kit into the mail. Sometimes it is less. Sometimes it is more, depending on our travel schedule. USA shipments are mailed First Class or Priority Mail, which takes 2 - 3 days to arrive.
2. Canada, Sweden, Norway, the UK, the Middle East, Australia, Brazil, and a few other countries are also sent First Class or Priority too. USPS claims that it takes 6 - 10 days for it to arrive. Sometimes US and Foreign Customs offices detain the package for up to 5 - 10 days before releasing it. This varies depending on the country we are delivering to. When necessary, we use Fed-Ex to reach places like the Cayman Islands, and other locales.
3. Times also vary on how long you keep the Impression Kit and how you choose to send it back. Though, once we receive and process your impression(s), the turn-around time on our end is 14 - 28 days from the date we email you with your impression processing update. During high crafting volumes it could take longer. In those circumstances we provide updates. Our crafting times truly depend on the demands of our production schedule when we receive your impressions. Either way, we send regular updates.
4. Customers pay for All Shipping Costs. Shipping can be easily changed to Overnight or 2 Day Air upon your request. Email KaosKustomFangs@gmail.com to alter your shipping accommodations when placing your order. Our standard US shipping cost is $9.25. Shipping to other countries varies from 19.99 to 24.95, depending on where you hang your hat. You can preview your shipping cost in the Order section when you add your fang to the Cart and process the shipping option, or Google USPS to see other options.
Important Note on Returning Impressions (or Sending Fangs or Molds for Repair): We recommend that you use the US Postal Service, aka: the regular mail service, as delivery times and tracking is well-defined and easy. Other carriers don't always follow through, and they loose stuff.
*NEVER, EVER, SEND ANYTHING REQUIRING A SIGNATURE. That is the surest way to cause delays and ensure that your fangs will not arrive when you want them to! And it may result in additional shipping charges. True Story.
*Please avoid using Packing Peanuts as they are harmful to the environment.
*Multiple Bite Trays: RETURN BOTH TRAYS! We send multiple bite trays to provide you the option of making a perfect impression. Do not waste it on the wrong palette impression, do not toss it in the bin because it didn't turn out looking good, do not hide it, or keep it, or give it to your siblings, or dog as a chew toy - RETURN BOTH Bite Trays.
All Sales are Final. We do not offer refunds.
Once you place an order, funds are immediately applied to starting your job; materials are purchased and personnel are assigned.
UPDATES, PRODUCTION, & CONTACTING THE KAOS.
We send regular updates.
1. We send a confirmation email when you place your order.
2. We send you a Tracking Number for the United States Post Office when we ship out your Impression Kit.
3. We send out another email to let you know that we're processing your Impressions, providing an update on the status of your molds when they are being made.
(So, please don't send us texts, FB messages, phone calls, and emails asking if we've received your package because you've seen from its tracking number that it's been delivered. Uh...? If you see that's it's been delivered, then let me be to work on fangs )
4. Then we send you another email, with another Tracking Number, for when we mail your fangs to you.
5. During times of high production volumes we send out emails with prospective shipping dates.
5. And on occassions, we send out emails asking our lovely Agents of Kaos (that's you) to send us Fang pix, so we can post them on the website and Facebook page.
These are all of our Regular emails and updates. This is what is a part of our production process. So, as you can see, we are vigilant at maintaining contact with you throughout the entire process.
*Improtant Note* Crafting high-grade dental prosthetics take time. Our production schedule is pretty busy (which is cool), but our craft times are defined here, in this FAQ, above, for the whole wide world to see. We appreciate your business. We are as excited as you are to make your fangs for you! :) Truth. So, please, don't hammer us with Texts, Emails, Phone Call, and Facebook Messages asking us when you are going to get your fangs. That doesn't help us to craft them. It does the opposite. I get that you're excited and want them "Now". But this is an art form, and it takes time. Please give us the time to make great fangs...for you. *Improtant Note*
TEXT, PHONE, & EMAIL CONNECTIVITY.
BUSINESS RESPONSE HOURS: Mon. - Fri. 10am - 6pm
Email is best for all or most communications. Texting is not going to get your message to us any faster. Most likely we'll reply to a text asking you to send us an email.
And there are NO AUTOMATED services at work here. Only real-life Human Beings. So, if you are expecting an immaediate confirmation to your order in a matter of seconds, after you've placed it, then buy your fangs at Amazon.com. The human, who befalls your order confirmation, must awake from the dungeon, find WiFi, consume tea, visit the lavatory, breathe, and read and process your order so you can get our 'lil ole email. :)
PLACING A CUSTOM ORDER.
Placing a Custom Order is easy, and works best when you know what you want. But we can also design Kustom Kreations for you, based on an idea alone! Simply email us at KaosKustomFangs@gmail.com to get the ball rolling on what it is that you are looking for. Let us know How Many Fangs and/or How Many Normal-Looking Teeth your Kustom Kreation might have, and we'll work up a Kustom Quote for you. There is a $50.00 Design Fee for us to design and draw up schmatics for your ideas, and Payment Plans are available to help bring your ideas to life!
WHAT DO I DO IF I AM NOT GETTING UPDATES?
As listed above, we send out regular updates. They are a part of our Craft Process. If you are not getting updates, PLEASE DO NOT HOUND US ABOUT IT. It is on your end. Guaranteed. Check Your Spam Folder. Fiddle with your browser to allow our emails to get through. The #1 reason that our Agents of Kaos do not receive our emails is because they fail to recall the email that they placed their order under and never look at it after placing that order. Yup. It happens. A.....Lot. So.... help us to help you. Make yourself open to our emails... our pathetic, glorious emails.
HOW DO I PLACE AN ORDER ONLINE?
It is an easy process to purchase fangs online. Just follow these 'lil steps...
1. Go to
2. Click on the Pricing/Order section
3. Choose fang style from our two page listing
4. Click on the style you want
5. In the top box, describe details about your personal fangs
6. In the second smaller box choose the Gem Stone Option
7. Click "Add To Cart"
8. Click "Checkout" by the big star
9. Add Your Country & State information in the shipping area
10. Click "Check Out" & finish payment processing through PayPal
If you are experiencing any problems and need further assistance, call us at 505-227-6674. Thank you!
THE HOLIDAYS, aka THE HOLY DAZE.
Halloween is our biggest and busiest time of the year! Do Not Wait until October to order your Halloween Fangs. Don't be all like, "shit I need fangs in two weeks". And then expect it to happen. Because chances are a flufffy unicorn with a rainbow horn will jump out of your closet before we could perform that miracle. Order them in Advance. And sharpen your smile with consumer wisdom. V""V
IMPRESSION KIT INSTRUCTIONS.
Your Instructions are emailed to you with a Tracking Number when the kit is shipped. Didn't get it? Then Read This, because it is important that you receive our emailed updates. The fate of the free (thinking) world depends on it. But in lieu of it, here ya go...
Watch this Video!
*NOTE: Do Not Dispose of any left over Alginate down a pipe or drain. It will harden to a thick, choking plastic when it comes into contact with water.
TIGHTENING KIT INSTRUCTIONS.
Your Instructions are emailed to you with a Tracking Number when your fangs are shipped. Didn't get it? Then Read This, because it is important that you receive our emailed updates. The fate of the free (thinking) world depends on it. But in lieu of it, here ya go...
WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY FANGS ARRIVE?
When your fangs arrive the first thing you should do, after unpacking everything, is try them on. But be careful! Pushing too hard on the tooth, or being overly nervous, or forcing them onto the wrong fang/tooth can break them. So, here are a few notes on being introduced to your new smile:
--- The right side is usually denoted by a small red dot and a grooved mark on the back of the fang/tooth for identification.
--- The red mark will fade, but the grooved mark will remain. So, LEARN your fangs/teeth. Look for small variations in their shape and design to tell them apart.
---Read your Kaos Kustom Kare. Pay special attention to Kaos Kustom Kare #9 for the proper removal of your fangs once they are on.
---If they are loose on the tooth, don't worry. We have provided you with a Tightening Kit. Please read all of the Tightening Kit Instructions carefully before attempting to tighten your fangs/teeth. You may need to do this process more than once for a perfect fit.
WHAT DO I DO IF MY FANGS BREAK?
:( No Worries. Read Your Kaos Guarantee and follow it. If you've already used your Kaos Guarantee, then shoot us an email - KaosKustomFangs@gmail.com - not a text message, an email, like above, and we'll provide you with an Agent of Kaos Koupon Kode to get a new set of fangs at a discount! :)
Note: Fang Repair Work is suspended through Sept. 10 - Oct. 31. It will resume in November. This is due to the high volume of craft-work during the Halloween season. There will be no exceptions!
THE KAOS GUARANTEE.
We Fang You Long Time!!! Once you are fanged, you are fanged for life! You are now an Agent of Kaos. We will repair and/or replace your fangs if you chip, break, or crack them for FREE, for the first time around. All you provide is shipping. After that, if you require replacements, repairs, or upgrades and additional sets we will do them at a greatly reduced "Agent of Kaos" rate (unless this competes with an ongoing sale price) and ask you to re-read your Kustom Kare. Though, failure to return both bite trays from our Impression Kit will result in a forfeiture of your Kaos Kustom Guarantee.
If your fangs were to break, chip, or crack and you are needing a repair please keep your pieces. Proof of damage is required, so that you can send us back ALL of your Fangs - even if in pieces - along with your Mold, Tightening Kit Vials, and $5.00 shipping funds. We'll place them in the production queue so you can continue to Fang On!
*Make sure to return your T.K. Vials. We will refill them only if you send them back with your repairs.
*Fang Repair Work is suspended through Sept. 10 - Oct. 31. It will resume in November. This is due to the high volume of craft-work during the Halloween season. There will be no exceptions!
KAOS PAYMENT PLANS.
We offer payment plans to qualified clients. These are usually for more extensive works, like our full mouth sets. But yes, you can work out a payment plan with us to get the fangs of your dreams in your lifetime. Plans are established on a one to one basis and usually managed directly through our PayPal account with a minimum of $50.00, and payments made at your own pace. With your first payment we ship you our Impression Kit. Once paid in full, we craft your fangs and ship them to you.
THE MEANING OF LIFE.
Bet you never expected to find this here, huh? Well, in a way, a small-around-Pluto-kind-of-way it makes sense. Because being Fanged is all about being who are and letting that glorious freak flag fly with love. And really, that's the meaning of life. Be the best you that you can be, because you are the Only you there is. What more meaning do you truly want than that? To know that you being here matters, and that the best way to make it count for something is for you to be honest with yourself, and be the best you that you can be. You have everything you need within you.
Now, Breathe... & N'Joy!
Fuck Yes! Here's a short stack...
KAOS KUSTOM KARE.
As Faith No More says, "We Kare a Lot!" We want you fanged and looking fabulous. We take pride in helping you reach your inner freak, so we want your fangs/teeth to last you until you are Undead! Here are some tips on how to keep your fangs sharp:
1. Do Not Sleep w/ your Fangs in. You Could Choke.
2. When drinking alcohol to get drunk Do Not Wear your fangs. Your drunken ass will loose 'em, or worse yet, someone may punch you in the mouth.
3. Should you eat with them? It is not recommended. Because your fangs are caps. Though they are made of durable material, the tensile strength of the human jaw is amazingly powerful. Be aware of the amount of pressure you place on them. If you bite down hard enough you will crack your fangs. While eating you could knock them off and swallow them. Then who is gonna look like a big bad vampire? Huh...not you!
4. By law we are required to inform you to Not bite to draw blood. Nibbling is encouraged! But, we in the Kaos, think that in a democracy you should be able to do what you want in the privacy of your own home. So...Act with respect in your agreements with all your playmates.
5. Drink & Smoke normally while wearing your fangz! In fact, you are encouraged to do so to match the color of your teeth. It takes about two weeks to color match your new fangs/teeth to your real teeth.
6. Brush Your Fangs! They are "real" teeth and suffer the same bacteria build up as the ones filling the whole in your head. So, make it a habit to brush them when you brush your teeth, BUT make sure the drain stopper is on or your expensive dental prosthetics will go bye-bye.
8. Learn which fang/tooth cap goes onto which tooth. You could break your fangs/teeth pushing the wrong one onto the wrong tooth. Each fang has small unique differences - LEARN THEM! & WHERE THEY BELONG! - when we give you your fangs/teeth we mark the right side with a notch and a small red dot.
9. Be careful removing your fangs. Do Not pinch them when taking them off, with your thumb and forefinger, because the natural inclination is to squeeze as they come off. Squeezing may snap off the tops of your fangs/teeth. Instead, REST the back of the fang/tooth on your thumb and with your forefinger's fingernail at the top of the fang/tooth, near the gum-line, pull straight down, applying all the pressure to the top front of the fang/tooth with your fingernail.
10. Sharing is Karing. Spread the Kaos. Go forth as Agents of Kaos, renewed and reborn, in your best selves. Show off your fangs! Wear 'em everywhere! And tell all your friends, associates, and co-workers that we are the best in the business for all your dental prosthetic needs!